Gaaaaaaaaah!!!

I think that word sums up my immediate thoughts/feelings quite succinctly after discovering what my brother had been downloading from Limewire yesterday.

(No prizes for guessing what...)

My brother is 13, almost 14. He is very small for his age and, in my personal view, resembles something rat-like; but that is neither here nor there.
So he's at that age when a lot of guys do start to watch/look at porn. I guess it's because - and I'm not much of an expert on guys that age, because I was always more focussed on what was happening to me - guys tend to want to "explore" at that age, and society pretty much expects them to objectify women, and to start doing so as soon as possible. (Funny how it's 'Lads mags' not 'Mens mags', non? Seems to connote something more youthful about it all.) I mean, I'm probably about to go off on a tangent here but, it's pretty socially accepted within my peer group (I cannot speak for others), and has been since around that age, that guys watch porn and "jerk off". At the same time, masturbation amongst girls is pretty much a taboo subject, and I went to an all-girls school 'til 16, and we talked about a lot of sexually explicit stuff together, but never any serious mention of masturbation.

Now, around September time, my brother discovered/realised that you can get porn on the internet (I personally blame his school friends; I noticed strange websites cropping up on the Internet history around the time he had about 3 or 4 mates over, it was shocking). He was on the computer in the study doing "homework", mum comes in to check he's doing homework, and then the next thing I know, mum's going balistic. She's screaming at him (believe me I would do the same!) and he starts crying. Mum tells him that that is what porn does to you. I actually sat in the other room froze, because I don't know if anybody likes to think of a relative perusing porn sites, y'know? Although, that said, I did actually go and storm in for my tuppence: "PORN'S SICK!"

Anyhoo, brother didn't go on any porn sites after that (although, I once noticed he'd looked up "boobs" "thong" and "ass" and various combination of the aforementioned words in google images).

Now, onto yesterday. (Yeah, I still haven't got this blogging thing down yet.) Last friday, or around that time, my brother got a laptop. Now, I kind of knew this could potentially be asking for trouble... And I was (of course) right. I mean, because I'd just updated my iTunes I could see what was on his shared Limewire files (I'd installed iTunes onto his laptop on Friday), and I felt sick. Maybe I'm prudish, but whatev, I'm just not OK with porn.

I can kind of understand why boys aged 13-14 watch porn, but I'm not saying I think it's right. I think there's a social/peer pressure put on them. It's from that age, when they're beginning to develop, and like girls are aware of their bodies and the changes, when the social/peer pressure begins to pile on them to be sexually dominant. To be a player. To (at least pretend to) have a big dick. To fuck girls. To watch porn. To masturbate. To be sexually confidant. And guys pick up on these themes in everyday sitcoms. There always seems to be the whole "haha he's got a small dick" thing going on in popular culture. And, let's face it, there are images everywhere of women represented as sex objects. So most guys get to the age of 13/14, start watching porn, (maybe earlier, what do I know?), and they find it acceptable, because that's what popular culture says essentially. It's masculine to watch porn. All the boys are doing it.
I think some guys think that, by watching porn, they'll be some kind of expert when it comes to actually doing stuff with girls. Based on what, may I ask? "Acting"? (For want of a better word, and of course, sometimes it's worse: it's rape). Psch.


The majority of us like to fantasise, yes, but we don't all need porn. Porn is restricting. Porn dictates what our fantasies should be. Porn is not equal. At least that's all true in the traditional male-audience-orientated porn. Because that's what I mean when I say "porn". I do tend to generalise my terms too much, make them too vague and ambiguous.
I don't know much about porn which is aimed at women. Maybe the representations of men and women are more equal, there's no sub-ordination. So I won't pass any comment on that. I've heard some definitions of porn which include the "demeaning or sub-ordination of one person/people" or something which I've paraphrased from memory. However, the definition of porn on dictionary.com (Aren't I cool?!) is: "creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire". In which case it would be quite possible for porn aimed at women to be more equal and liberating, except for the fact that is is acting, and not true sexual expression.

Honestly? One of the first things that comes to my head when the issue of men/boys watching porn is raised is: fucking pathetic. It really is.