Looking on Object, the news section ["New Year - New 'No Go Zones' (21.12.06)"] I notice this:
"Pubs, Bars & Student Unions - Bikini Babes
FRONT and other lad's mags have launched 'bikini babe' competitions across UK pubs, bars and even student unions (Loughborough). Female pub goers compete in FRONT bikinis, judged by the male onlookers.
Questions to competitiors include :- 'spit or swallow?'- 'do you take it up the arse?'"
Now, I'm going to have to give myself a few minutes to compose myself before I can articulate anything about this "bikini babe" thing.
Ok. Here goes.
Although there were other cases of disgusting objectification of women mentioned in the article (including a topless carwash & diner in Coventry), this one particularly annoyed me.
The idea of getting women to compete against each other to be crowned the hottest and most desirable according to male objectives is just sick. Making each contestant wear skimpy bikinis while surrounded by fully clothed, possibly drunk males, is just degrading. Is this at all necessary? No. But, of course, there's no rhyme or reason to it, just male leeriness and objectificaton of women to put them in a submissive, passive position to maintain the patriarchy by treating them as sexual objects & therefore keeping them down as second-class citizens. I mean, for fucks sake! Even the questions asked are nothing to do with the woman's personality, intelligence or any ability. Well, any ability other than making a guy cum. And, of course, the questions are about intimate, usually private interactions, and really the questioners have no right to know. The questions are all about what a woman would do to enhance a man's sexual pleasure, not about what she'd want, because it's all about the man's sexual gratification. There's nothing equal about that. There's nothing right about it at all.
And, let's face it. Girls will do this. Even if they're bloody inebriated or not fully willing - ie forced into it by (male) pressure - they'll do it. And why? Because popular culture manipulates and tells women to act in certain ways, to dress and look certain ways, most of which are geared up to fuel male lust and to gratify the sexual demands of men. Of course, not all womyn accept this. But many do, to varying degrees, of course, and it will be some of these girls who will participate in these activities, much like the girls who participate in the disgusting Girls Gone Wild franchise in America. I would go on about the vicious circle which these girls often find themselves, but I think I will just say, instead, that all this hurts women and their position in society, but it's bloody great for the patriarchy, and of course, great for the male spectators, who get to have something live in the flesh rather than a celluloid pornstar to wank over later.
There's a phrase going round in my head, which I read about in Andrea Dworkin's 'Heartbreak: Political Memoirs of A Feminist Militant", where she says she was too poor to afford a badge with one of her favourite Feminist slogans. The slogan?:
Don't suck. Bite.
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Hello, Amy. I read about you through links in a couple other blogs.
I thought I would ask you about pornography, and the attempts of some of the most militant feminists to restrict it. It's my opinion that porn is an outlet for men to vent sexual "steam," just like exercise or boxing lets men and women vent feelings of anger in a healthy way.
When men have sexual urges, they need an outlet. They can either get a girlfriend or a wife, or they can fantasize on their own. But if no romantic partner is available, and pornography is not available to stoke their imagination, their sexual urges will be repressed. Suppression of anyone's sexuality, whether they're male or female, produces a volatile and dangerous situation.
In 3rd wave feminism, women are encouraged to flaunt their sexuality, to be open about it and to defy societal taboos about propriety and modesty. It is seen as empowering for a woman to express her sexuality openly in this way. But men are taught -- from childhood -- that they not only must initiate sexual contact, but simultaneously be ashamed of it (and feel lucky if they achieve it). This atmosphere of suppression of male sexuality remains ever-present throughout a boy's childhood, adolescence, and exists far into adulthood.
When a sexually suppressed man says degrading things to a woman, he is not helping himself. He is definitely not helping the woman. He's setting a poor example, both to younger men as well as to women who view him as man's representative. Yes, there is every reason to condemn this behavior. We should, for our own benefit (as a society, and as people who care about our own sex) care about what produces such behavior.
I believe that what creates male piggishness, sexually violent behavior by males, and male sexual predators is a suppression of male sexuality. Men should be taught openly about sex from an appropriate age in childhood. They should have their questions answered, and they should be guided in such a way as to ensure their future health (both emotional and physical). They should not be made to feel ashamed about their sexual urges. After all, these urges are natural. Both men and women have them.
What's so damaging is the expectation that men must initiate romantic and sexual contact. I don't know if you've ever thought about it -- and this is not to denigrate the tribulations of women -- but men risk an ENORMOUS amount of emotional pain when they ask a woman on a date. Whether the woman turns him down or not is beside the point -- there is a fantastic amount of fear there. Please understand and try to empathize with this.
Men who are rejected in an abrasive and cruel way feel incredibly squashed, like a bug. This can make such men crawl away and try to find solace and comfort in non-romantic exploits. He may turn to pornography as an outlet for his sexual urges. If then he is made to feel ashamed for even this act, his sexual urges will become warped and ever-more unnatural. Pornography exists because its consumers want to explore their sexuality through fantasy and imagination. You may argue that such thoughts need to be controlled; I would counter that people simply need to be free, which will promote more healthy fantasies (and healthier attitudes and behavior toward the opposite sex).
I hope you seriously consider what I've written here. I have not insulted you, or used degrading language. I would like to have a meaningful discussion without it devolving into a name-calling match, as so many other discussions about sex and gender tend to do. Please respond at your leisure.
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